Coaching Demystified
Have you learned NLP or Hypnosis but lack the confidence to start your practice?
I’ve taught NLP and Hypnotherapy for nearly a decade, and I’ve noticed that there is only one thing that keeps students from starting a coaching practice. Without the confidence in your own skills and abilities, you’re likely to stay in a “safe” position. But how do you develop the confidence to pursue your dreams?
I’d personally like to invite you to a very special event I’m producing with my friend and colleague, Marcus Marsden, an executive coach to some of the largest companies in the world. Not only is he an excellent and seasoned coach, he’s a thoroughly entertaining and effective trainer and NLP Master. And, he works for the leading coaching company in Asia, where we’ve co-run NLP workshops for the past 3 years.
I know you’ll enjoy this workshop. I look forward to your participation!
Coaching Demystified
A Workshop for NLP Practitioners and Hypnotherapists
Successful coaches have their own style of coaching. They have cultivated how to think and act like a coach, and they know how to apply their skills at each stage of the coaching journey.
In this experiential workshop, you will experience and explore:
- what it’s like to go through the stages of a coaching journey with a client
- the mind of a coach – how does a coach think, listen, and act differently compared to people in other roles
- how a coach builds an effective coaching relationship with their client(s)
- your own coaching style – who do you need to be in order to really be effective at working with others; what experiences and qualities do you have that can assist you to be a great coach;
- why people are important to you and why is it important that you contribute to their development. This is critical in order to evoke a real commitment to go out and create a practice.
At the conclusion of this workshop, you can expect:
- Increased confidence and commitment to coach people in their daily life – either formally or informally. You will leave the workshop excited about coaching, ready to start a coaching conversation with a belief in your ability to coach and develop people.
- To be thinking, listening, and acting like a coach. You’ll learn practical, easy-to-use coaching techniques to use alongside other skills.
- To understand how and why to help others achieve goals.
- To determine your natural coaching style and how to adapt your way of working to coach different people.
So, if you’re ready to take the next step in your career, join us for this very special event. I am certain you’ll get exactly what you need to move forward in your own life, and be ready to help others move forward in theirs. Join us!
The Essential Details
Dates: October 14-15, 10am to 6pm
Location: 421 Post St. 14th Floor in San Francisco CA
Regular Tuition: $475
Early Bird Tuition: $350 before September 1 (Save $125!)
Meet Marcus Marsden
Marcus is an executive coach and personal development trainer based in Hong Kong with clients throughout Asia and the UK. Marcus brings to his training and coaching 20 years of business and management experience. Marcus specializes in coaching senior executives in leadership, management, and change and teaching personal breakthrough workshops.
Marcus has also worked extensively in the fields of leadership development and coaching with organizations including Unilever, PETRONAS, Sony Ericsson, Taishin Bank, Birla Group, Wika Construction, and Hewlett Packard.
Graduating from Oxford University, Marcus is an NLP Master Practitioner. He holds certification for Creative Thinking facilitation and he is a member of the International Coaching Federation and the Newfield Network.
Marcus is married to a lovely Indonesian woman and currently lives in Hong Kong. When not working, he enjoys keeping fit and healthy in the gym (his wife is a personal fitness trainer!) as well as playing golf, hiking and Pilates. He is a keen movie watcher as well an ardent fan of American football (Go Raiders!).
Emotional Maturity? Not in America!
Just this morning, I witnessed a large truck speeding down my street, honking at a double-parked car (do cars move themselves??). Over the weekend I heard so much gossip it made my head spin. And tomorrow I’m likely to hear one of my clients badmouthing a co-worker.
One thing I’m quite certain of, after 15 years in this business and extensive international travel, is emotional maturity isn’t highly valued in this country. Additionally, it is our collective immaturity that has created our current financial crisis. We are like children, demanding to play now and pay later. Yet, delaying gratification is not only beneficial, it can be more enjoyable.
Some Signs of Emotional Maturity
- Making sacrifices for the sake of others
- Admitting when you’re wrong
- Compromising
- Accepting things as they are, without judgment or criticism
- Taking a long-term view
- Making good decisions, rather than choosing whatever feels good in the moment
When people ask me why I do the work I do, I always answer with, “I want to make the world a better place.” I’ve chosen to do this by building maturity in myself first, then by showing others how much better life could be with just a few simple changes. Consider adopting just one of these options for a few weeks.
- Listen to those you love, without comment or judgment. Open your heart and hear them out.
- Ask yourself, “Is this smart?” in addition to, “Does this feel good?” Both questions are important.
- When something unexpected happens, don’t try to figure out if it’s good or bad, just accept that it is. Do the best you can with what you’ve got.
- Do something helpful for someone else, even if it’s inconvenient. You’ll be amazed by how much you get out of it.
- Admit it, out loud, when you’re wrong. And do it without shame or embarrassment- it was only a mistake.
By demonstrating just a little emotional maturity you can make more sound financial decisions, enjoy driving again, and parent happier and healthier kids. Becoming wise, grounded, and compassionate requires living intentionally, which is a habit you develop over time. It’s never too late to start, but it’s something you don’t want to put off (procrastination is another sign of immaturity).
There are personal development tools available, more than ever before, and they are extremely important to learn. You can love more deeply, feel more peaceful in your heart and head, learn to let go of anger and grief, and achieve lasting happiness. Be a renegade! Break out of this current culture of greed, short-sightedness, and childishness. I promise you- you’ll enjoy your life even more.
To get moving along the path to emotional maturity, you may wish to begin with a private consultation. Or, consider taking a course focused on the mind and how it works. Valuing education is a great sign of emotional maturity.
Like this:
Spa for the Psyche: An Urban Retreat with Janis Ericson
Stressed? Overwhelmed? Need some time for yourself?
Retreats provide a place for those who seek to re-ignite their passion and zest for life. By escaping the barrage of daily stress, you give yourself the opportunity to turn within, reconnect with your goals, and take stock of your life.
When you change, the world around you changes.
The modern world in which we live is filled with uncertainty, but when you build a strong and centered inner self you can handle anything that comes your way. Brain science has shown the merit of proper meditation for increasing success and happiness. So, take this opportunity to intentionally build your life from the inside out.
- Shake off the stress of modern life
- Let go of daily concerns and worries
- Experience therapeutic meditation for lasting change
- Learn magical meditation techniques anyone can use
- Discover how to be more intentional in your life and work
What to Expect
Saturday: Tuning Out & Tuning In
Spend the day relaxing and letting go of stress, tension, and anxiety in order to create the space for self-reflection and change. Escape the demands of daily life, detox your mind, and find your center. Experience relaxation techniques even type A’s can appreciate.
Sunday: Meditation for a Change
Today you’ll experience the art of transformational meditation and learn simple change techniques you can use in your own life. You’ll have the opportunity to resolve issues around money, relationships, or finding meaningful work- or just relax and get clarity around your life goals.
Why Meditation?
Not only does meditation reduce stress, it lowers blood pressure and improves sleep. It also promotes mental clarity, calmness, and greater happiness by quieting the mind. Even if you’ve had difficulty with meditation in the past, Janis’s unique methods can break through the mental chatter and take you into profound relaxation.
When you’re more relaxed, you’re more comfortable in your skin, which leads to greater confidence and success in your life and work. Research has shown that relaxation leads to more creative thinking, greater emotional control, and improved athletic performance.
The Essential Details
Location: The Open Center, New York NY
October 22-23, 2011 from 9am to 5pm each day
About Janis
After her introduction to meditation at the age of 12, Janis began delving into the world of personal growth and transformation. Based on over twenty years of study and practice, she now shares with her students and clients the most simple and profound techniques for relaxation, success, and happiness. The author of ‘I Know I Need to Change, but How?,’ Janis lives, works, and plays in San Francisco.
Find Services on Thumbtack.com
Looking online for a local service?
Check out my listing for Hypnotherapy services on Thumbtack.com. Not only will you find local health and wellness practitioners, but you’ll also discover many service professionals. The best part is that their verification system ensures you find reliable and qualified practitioners.
Factors for Successful Weight Loss
One of the best predictors of successful weight loss may have less to do with eating than with thinking.
A team of researchers from the Netherlands reports that obese people who expect to be successful in weight loss shed significantly more pounds than those who are less certain of their ability to adhere to a weight-loss program.
“Self-efficacy is a potent predictor of treatment outcome across dozens of health behaviors,” notes John C. Norcross, professor of psychology at the University of Scranton. “In fact, it supports the age-old wisdom that if you think you can succeed, you will, and if you don’t, you won’t.”
In this study, 66 obese men and women participated in an eight-week, low-calorie weight-loss program. The results showed that those who believed they were better able to control their weight and did not attribute their being overweight to a physical origin lost significantly more weight.
So, what can you do to increase your self efficacy in regards to weight loss?
- Start small. Pick and accomplish small goals that are easy to meet. When you’ve mastered one goal, move on to something else. “Success breeds self-efficacy,” DiClemente says.
- Set goals for behavior, not weight loss. Instead of saying, ‘I will lose two pounds,’ tell yourself that your goal is to change your eating habits and exercise twice a week for the next month. The pounds will take care of themselves if the right behaviors are in place.
- Learn from your past weight-loss experience. Behavioral research suggests that it takes at least half a dozen attempts to instill a new habit, when done with will power alone. Those with strong self-efficacy view these unsuccessful attempts not as failures, but as opportunities to learn what didn’t work, which follows the presuppositions of NLP. Further, you can change habits much more quickly with the use of hypnosis.
- Look for a good role model. If you’re looking for inspiration, your best choice is someone similar to you who has succeeded, a person who can provide something called vicarious learning.
- Get support. Recruit your spouse, friend, colleague, relative or just someone who knows you and shares your goal for better eating and increasing physical activity. It’s important for that person to provide constructive coaching, listening, and emotional support. Or, find a professional coach to assist you.
- Reward yourself. Although it may feel unfamiliar, patting yourself on the back is a proven way to strengthen self-efficacy. Remind yourself that you can do it. Give yourself a concrete reward as you meet your goals, like a trip to the spa or a relaxing massage.
Time Lines
Whether you want to be on time more of the time or to resolve childhood traumas, familiarity with time lines is crucial.
As you may remember from history class, we tend to organize our memories in a linear format, separating the past from the present and future. Knowing how we organize time is helpful in being sure we are able to function well in modern society.
A Look at Life and Death
“Revenge is a confession of pain.”
Today it is hard to think of much else. The news that Osama Bin Laden was dead arrived last night, and I wasn’t alone in my shock. It is news I thought would never arrive.
We all remember 9/11 and where we were that day. None of us was alone in our grief and anger. And for some, that suffering has continued for 10 long years. And I, like most Americans, will not grieve the loss of Bin Laden.
Not all anger is toxic. The rage that comes out of injustice serves a valuable purpose- it provokes a desire for change. When violence has been committed, the fury that results prompts those that have been hurt to stand up and protect themselves. And sometimes that protection becomes a retaliation. The act of fighting back for the purpose of increased security in one thing, but the desire for vengeance creates an infinite loop of suffering.
There is freedom to be found in the righting of an injustice. So, many individuals around the world are celebrating Bin Laden’s death. Personally, I am relieved, mostly because we can now experience greater safety and security in our country.
In truth, there is nothing to celebrate here. The lives that were lost on 9/11 have not been returned. Violence has not ended. The war continues. These are sad facts, but until we’re all willing to go into the sadness and admit our collective hurt the suffering will continue.
“Revenge has no more quenching effect on emotions than salt water has on thirst.” Walter Weckler
To end grief and suffering, we must be able to accept what has happened. We must use our anger to protect ourselves and avoid future violence. We need to admit our hurt and accept ourselves for our own emotions and reactions. This self-forgiveness paves the way for forgiveness of others. And only then can we move forward and allow peace to enter our hearts and minds.
Anger -> Healthy Release -> Intelligent action to increase safety & security -> Compassion and Forgiveness
You may be thinking, “How can I forgive someone that has done such grievous harm?” The answer is simple. Because in forgiving those that have caused the greatest suffering you increase your capacity for love and compassion. It isn’t to help them, it’s to help you become healthier. When you rise above what the world does to you, you become resilient. Once you’ve suffered a great loss and have overcome your initial weakness, you’ve created a stronger self.
“I think we should try to rise to the level of minimal moral integrity. Minimal moral integrity requires that if we think something is wrong when they do it, it’s wrong when we do it.” Noam Chomsky
I can’t help but remember my experience with the Edgar Cayce readings from my childhood. He spoke of the universal law of cause and effect, which essentially states that everything that happens is both a cause and an effect. You may be more familiar with the law of physics, whereby every action has a reaction. In this case, the reaction is also an action in itself. What actions are your current feelings and thoughts going to create. What effects will occur?
Now, I should mention that the path of forgiveness isn’t for everyone. Mine is one of light and love. I believe I’m here to share the compassion I’ve cultivated with the world (my primary motivation for this article). But we all have our own journeys. What’s yours?
Overcoming Fears of Earthquakes and Other Natural Disasters
Individuals who live on or around major fault lines are wise to keep in mind the possibility of an earthquake, and take appropriate precautions. But if the fear of a potential quake that is designed to serve as a warning becomes an obsessive phobia, an individual should seek help from a qualified professional.
Experts agree that fear is a natural emotional response designed to keep us safe and out of harm’s way. However, when someone focuses for too long on an issue they can inadvertently make it worse, creating a phobia. A phobia is defined as an irrational, overwhelming fear that impacts an individual’s quality of life.
Janis Ericson, NLP Trainer and founder of Lightwork Seminars Intl. and HybridNLP, helps people overcome their fears and phobias. And when it comes to fears of natural disasters, she finds that most individuals do one or two things in their imaginations that lead to intense fear responses, which actually put them in more danger.
- Some people watch disasters on TV, but they continue to watch them over and over again in their mind’s eye. The repetitive nature of these thoughts make the negative feelings more intense.
- Fears can turn to phobias when individuals associate into the “disaster” scene, meaning they pretend they are living it. If you aren’t going through it in real life, there is no benefit to pretending to go through it!
What many people don’t know is that a vast majority of people that actually live through natural disasters never create a phobia. And, many individuals that have never been through one do. This is due to the fact that the natural disaster is not to blame. Phobias are created by faulty thinking. This is good news, since changing thoughts is what NLP experts do, usually in an hour or less.
While a private session with Ericson is recommended, she offers the following tips for those individuals wishing to heal themselves.
- Find a comfortable place to relax. Take a few deep breaths.
- Imagine a small movie screen 30 feet in front of you. Put your scary movie on the screen, but only in black and white.
- Shrink the screen until it’s only 1 square foot. Do this quickly.
- Run the movie in reverse, from end to beginning, also quickly.
- Put the movie and the screen in a slingshot, and send them to the moon.
- Breathe, and relax.
Any time you think about what could happen in the future, stop, take a breath, and run the scene in reverse. When you do this a few times, your pattern for getting phobic unravels. You’ll no longer be able to feel the fear. Of course, you should always take precautions to keep yourself safe. But fear is only an alert. Once you interpret and act upon the alert, the fear will dissolve naturally.
We can’t prevent earth changes from occurring, however, we can prevent being afraid of something that hasn’t happened yet. Janis believes that no one should suffer needlessly.
“If a disaster occurs, the best possible response is calmness. When people are calm, they can react safely, because things around them are moving slowly. Anxiety is what puts people in danger. Individuals that panic often freeze, which is far more harmful than getting to safety.”
Janis Ericson can be reached for private consultations and training courses at 415.491.1122 or through her website at www.lightworkseminars.com.
A Metaphor Springs Forth
“Oh, beauty before me, beauty behind me, beauty to the right of me, beauty to the left of me, beauty above me, beauty below me, I’m on the pollen path.” Navaho Prayer
As a former poet and occasional author, it is no wonder that the use of metaphor for teaching and healing led me to NLP and hypnosis. You may already know that Neuro-Linguistic Programming has its roots in the work of psychiatrist and hypnotherapist Milton Erickson, who is well-known for his pioneering work in the use of metaphor for both physical and emotional healing. Stories and narratives have the ability to reach deep into the unconscious mind, and at times, the soul, implanting images that captivate, inspire, and drive future thoughts and actions.
At the change of every season I’m compelled to align myself with the metaphors of nature, partially because they help me to feel connected to the world around me. They also serve as a valuable resource for aligning my actions with my values and goals. Put simply, unhappiness in life is often due to a mismatch between what one wants and what one has. Alignment is having what you want, OR wanting what you have. That makes the formula for happiness a rapport between what’s inside and what’s outside.
The secret to creating this rapport, I’ve learned, is to live with purpose. How can you do that if you’re out of sync with life? My guru, Joseph Campbell, says it most elegantly.
“Just sheer life cannot be said to have a purpose, because look at all the different purposes it has all over the place. But each incarnation, you might say, has a potentiality, and the mission of life is to live that potentiality. Follow your bliss. There’s something inside you that knows when you’re in the center, that knows when you’re on the beam or off the beam, and if you get off the beam to earn money, you’ve lost your life. And if you stay in the center and don’t get any money, you still have your bliss.”
My students often ask me about their life purpose. My answer is nearly always the same, “The purpose of life is to live, really live, in every moment.” One way to do so is to recognize the beauty of every moment, as the Navajo prayer suggests. The metaphor of the pollen path to me represents the journey that blossoms as you move forward. Are you planting seeds of joy each day, or are you spending your time weeding problems from your life? Do you want what you don’t have, as in waiting for the snows to melt and the crocuses to emerge? Or will you let the rain cleanse your soul, making it ready for new experiences?
What metaphors do you live by? Are you stuck between a rock and a hard place, or do you flow with life? I encourage you to consider the stories you tell yourself and others. They may be affecting your more than you realize. The experience of your life is subjective- how you live is based on how you interpret your experiences. Your interpretations are your stories, so make them good ones. But, then, so are your actions. Your life is a story still being written.
Someone told me recently, “Money doesn’t grow on trees!” I replied, “Only if you never plants the seeds.”
Happy Spring!
The 90/10 Principle
“The secret of life isn’t what happens to you, it’s what you do with what happens to you.”
-Norman Vincent Peale
What would be different for you if you knew that your life is decided, not by the things that happen to you, but by your reactions to them?
If we were to examine our lives, we’d recognize that we have little to no control over 10% of what happens to us. Cars break down, planes arrive late, and spills happen. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different, because you have a choice in your reaction. You may not be able to control a red light, but you can control your reaction to it. And although it may not appear to be possible, you can control how you react to anything.
Our responses to the world around us are learned behaviors, not accidents. And because they’re learned, we have the opportunity to unlearn them and make a new conscious choice.
For example, imagine eating breakfast with your family before heading to work. One of your kids knocks over a cup of coffee onto your shirt. While you have no control over what just happened, what happens next will be determined by how you react. In one scenario you curse and blame everyone at the table for your misfortune. You storm upstairs, change your shirt and come back down to leave for work. Your kids are too upset to get ready for school and so miss the bus. You rush to the car and drive your kids to school, but because you are late, you drive 15 miles over the speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and a traffic ticket, you arrive at school. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it? C) Did the policeman cause it?
B) Did your kids cause it? D) Did you cause it?
Not surprisingly, the answer is “D” . You had no control over what happened with the coffee, but how you reacted in those next 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. So, let’s try on another option.
Coffee splashes over you. Your kids are about to cry. You gently say, “It’s OK. Please just be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel, you rush upstairs. After changing your shirt and picking up your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your kids getting on the bus. You arrive at your office on time, and look forward to going home to your family at the end of the day.
Two different scenarios with the same beginning and different endings. Which would you prefer?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and stop worrying! Use the leftover energy for something more positive and uplifting. And remember, 90% of life is made up by the choices we make every day. Choose well, and have an amazing life!
