Monthly Archives: March 2011
Overcoming Fears of Earthquakes and Other Natural Disasters
Individuals who live on or around major fault lines are wise to keep in mind the possibility of an earthquake, and take appropriate precautions. But if the fear of a potential quake that is designed to serve as a warning becomes an obsessive phobia, an individual should seek help from a qualified professional.
Experts agree that fear is a natural emotional response designed to keep us safe and out of harm’s way. However, when someone focuses for too long on an issue they can inadvertently make it worse, creating a phobia. A phobia is defined as an irrational, overwhelming fear that impacts an individual’s quality of life.
Janis Ericson, NLP Trainer and founder of Lightwork Seminars Intl. and HybridNLP, helps people overcome their fears and phobias. And when it comes to fears of natural disasters, she finds that most individuals do one or two things in their imaginations that lead to intense fear responses, which actually put them in more danger.
- Some people watch disasters on TV, but they continue to watch them over and over again in their mind’s eye. The repetitive nature of these thoughts make the negative feelings more intense.
- Fears can turn to phobias when individuals associate into the “disaster” scene, meaning they pretend they are living it. If you aren’t going through it in real life, there is no benefit to pretending to go through it!
What many people don’t know is that a vast majority of people that actually live through natural disasters never create a phobia. And, many individuals that have never been through one do. This is due to the fact that the natural disaster is not to blame. Phobias are created by faulty thinking. This is good news, since changing thoughts is what NLP experts do, usually in an hour or less.
While a private session with Ericson is recommended, she offers the following tips for those individuals wishing to heal themselves.
- Find a comfortable place to relax. Take a few deep breaths.
- Imagine a small movie screen 30 feet in front of you. Put your scary movie on the screen, but only in black and white.
- Shrink the screen until it’s only 1 square foot. Do this quickly.
- Run the movie in reverse, from end to beginning, also quickly.
- Put the movie and the screen in a slingshot, and send them to the moon.
- Breathe, and relax.
Any time you think about what could happen in the future, stop, take a breath, and run the scene in reverse. When you do this a few times, your pattern for getting phobic unravels. You’ll no longer be able to feel the fear. Of course, you should always take precautions to keep yourself safe. But fear is only an alert. Once you interpret and act upon the alert, the fear will dissolve naturally.
We can’t prevent earth changes from occurring, however, we can prevent being afraid of something that hasn’t happened yet. Janis believes that no one should suffer needlessly.
“If a disaster occurs, the best possible response is calmness. When people are calm, they can react safely, because things around them are moving slowly. Anxiety is what puts people in danger. Individuals that panic often freeze, which is far more harmful than getting to safety.”
Janis Ericson can be reached for private consultations and training courses at 415.491.1122 or through her website at www.lightworkseminars.com.
A Metaphor Springs Forth
“Oh, beauty before me, beauty behind me, beauty to the right of me, beauty to the left of me, beauty above me, beauty below me, I’m on the pollen path.” Navaho Prayer
As a former poet and occasional author, it is no wonder that the use of metaphor for teaching and healing led me to NLP and hypnosis. You may already know that Neuro-Linguistic Programming has its roots in the work of psychiatrist and hypnotherapist Milton Erickson, who is well-known for his pioneering work in the use of metaphor for both physical and emotional healing. Stories and narratives have the ability to reach deep into the unconscious mind, and at times, the soul, implanting images that captivate, inspire, and drive future thoughts and actions.
At the change of every season I’m compelled to align myself with the metaphors of nature, partially because they help me to feel connected to the world around me. They also serve as a valuable resource for aligning my actions with my values and goals. Put simply, unhappiness in life is often due to a mismatch between what one wants and what one has. Alignment is having what you want, OR wanting what you have. That makes the formula for happiness a rapport between what’s inside and what’s outside.
The secret to creating this rapport, I’ve learned, is to live with purpose. How can you do that if you’re out of sync with life? My guru, Joseph Campbell, says it most elegantly.
“Just sheer life cannot be said to have a purpose, because look at all the different purposes it has all over the place. But each incarnation, you might say, has a potentiality, and the mission of life is to live that potentiality. Follow your bliss. There’s something inside you that knows when you’re in the center, that knows when you’re on the beam or off the beam, and if you get off the beam to earn money, you’ve lost your life. And if you stay in the center and don’t get any money, you still have your bliss.”
My students often ask me about their life purpose. My answer is nearly always the same, “The purpose of life is to live, really live, in every moment.” One way to do so is to recognize the beauty of every moment, as the Navajo prayer suggests. The metaphor of the pollen path to me represents the journey that blossoms as you move forward. Are you planting seeds of joy each day, or are you spending your time weeding problems from your life? Do you want what you don’t have, as in waiting for the snows to melt and the crocuses to emerge? Or will you let the rain cleanse your soul, making it ready for new experiences?
What metaphors do you live by? Are you stuck between a rock and a hard place, or do you flow with life? I encourage you to consider the stories you tell yourself and others. They may be affecting your more than you realize. The experience of your life is subjective- how you live is based on how you interpret your experiences. Your interpretations are your stories, so make them good ones. But, then, so are your actions. Your life is a story still being written.
Someone told me recently, “Money doesn’t grow on trees!” I replied, “Only if you never plants the seeds.”
Happy Spring!
The 90/10 Principle
“The secret of life isn’t what happens to you, it’s what you do with what happens to you.”
-Norman Vincent Peale
What would be different for you if you knew that your life is decided, not by the things that happen to you, but by your reactions to them?
If we were to examine our lives, we’d recognize that we have little to no control over 10% of what happens to us. Cars break down, planes arrive late, and spills happen. We have no control over this 10%. The other 90% is different, because you have a choice in your reaction. You may not be able to control a red light, but you can control your reaction to it. And although it may not appear to be possible, you can control how you react to anything.
Our responses to the world around us are learned behaviors, not accidents. And because they’re learned, we have the opportunity to unlearn them and make a new conscious choice.
For example, imagine eating breakfast with your family before heading to work. One of your kids knocks over a cup of coffee onto your shirt. While you have no control over what just happened, what happens next will be determined by how you react. In one scenario you curse and blame everyone at the table for your misfortune. You storm upstairs, change your shirt and come back down to leave for work. Your kids are too upset to get ready for school and so miss the bus. You rush to the car and drive your kids to school, but because you are late, you drive 15 miles over the speed limit. After a 15-minute delay and a traffic ticket, you arrive at school. After arriving at the office 20 minutes late, you find you forgot your briefcase. Your day has started terrible. As it continues, it seems to get worse and worse.
Why did you have a bad day?
A) Did the coffee cause it? C) Did the policeman cause it?
B) Did your kids cause it? D) Did you cause it?
Not surprisingly, the answer is “D” . You had no control over what happened with the coffee, but how you reacted in those next 5 seconds is what caused your bad day. So, let’s try on another option.
Coffee splashes over you. Your kids are about to cry. You gently say, “It’s OK. Please just be more careful next time”. Grabbing a towel, you rush upstairs. After changing your shirt and picking up your briefcase, you come back down in time to look through the window and see your kids getting on the bus. You arrive at your office on time, and look forward to going home to your family at the end of the day.
Two different scenarios with the same beginning and different endings. Which would you prefer?
Remember the 90/10 principle, and stop worrying! Use the leftover energy for something more positive and uplifting. And remember, 90% of life is made up by the choices we make every day. Choose well, and have an amazing life!
